Pardon me while this post becomes unbearably meta.
Introductions are one of the hardest parts for me to write in just about anything. Just now, I’ve rewritten that sentence at least three times, in the attempt to find the right level of bold statement vs. actual truthfulness, swerving away from hyperbole at the same time, and crashing into a wall of awfulness. Introductions are difficult in nearly every sense of the word “introduction”, whether it be in writing, to a waiting audience, or a complete stranger. For instance, while, in the eyes of some of my closest friends I’m excellent at socialising, the further out along the radius of my circle you go, the less common that thought will be. Because I’m also quite shy and nervous about talking to new people or people I don’t know too well. Usually once the simple introduction is done with however, it gets better from there. Anyway, I digress.
What’s harder than introductions then? For me, it tends to be mustering the urge to complete something that I’ve started, and finding out exactly what I mean to do with it. With essays. With story outlines. With my features for certain publications. Reviews don’t tend to fall into this category. I’m lucky enough that I’m confident in my opinions, and that I can write a decent review of a film, or of an album, in one sitting. But resuming projects can be hard, so we start again. Immediately finding ourselves with that same problem again: introducing ourselves.
It’s at this point I should point out that this isn’t the first time I’ve created a blog to act as both portfolio and creative outlet.
In the past I haven’t used them at all, at least not beyond writing the title of an opening post I never completed (in my youth it was a rant about Beliebers and Directioners), or more recently, failing to update a tumblr stream with any of my most recent posts due to one (or several) bout(s) of depression. I’m so good at not keeping up with my creative efforts that I once created a YouTube channel, only to take a 7 month hiatus after my first video, and then taking another 7 month odd hiatus after a summer of posting videos semi-weekly.
This blog was in fact created in late December 2015, but it wasn’t until the last week of March 2016 that I even made an active effort to juzz/jazz/zuss/hjouezz(?)* it up. By adding pages, and images, and writing my first post. This one.
Why am I telling you all this, you almost certainly don’t need to know it.
It’s because I don’t yet know what this is going to be. I know what it needs to be – a place that I can showcase work I have produced for publications and sites. But I’m not sure how I want to use it, and certainly not if I’ll be able to keep it up. I don’t need to introduce myself in this opening post, as that’s what the about page is for. I don’t feel comfortable lying, or making a promise for what I want to do with this and not living up to it. I’m trying not to be hard on myself for quitting things, or falling out of favour with them. So the first step to that is to LOWER MY EXPECTATIONS (officially the worst motivational statement ever). So I’m writing this for myself, and for you, so that you don’t expect too much of me. Maybe instead of a disappointment then, I get to be a pleasant surprise.
In summary: Introductions are hard, whether they’re in writing, or in making friends. But continuing with projects is harder. And I don’t know. I don’t really know much of anything.
Great start George. Really encouraging.
*UPDATE (20/08/2016): The word I was looking for was zhuzh. Who on earth would have guessed that THAT was how you spelled “zhuzh”?